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<title>when i'm not with you i'm weaker by thegreenfairy246</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568174">when i'm not with you i'm weaker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246'>thegreenfairy246</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Hair, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Protective Bucky Barnes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:36:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568174</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>bucky leaves the avengers to be with you</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when i'm not with you i'm weaker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Bucky Barnes climbed through your window with a black eye and a busted lip a year ago, he hadn't exactly been expecting it to start a friendship. But it had. Whenever he was hurt or just needed someone to talk to, he would come to you. The only difference was he tended to knock on your door nowadays. So it wasn't all that odd when he came to you, bloody and battered, and asked if he could stay with you. Of course you let him. You always let him.</p><p>From where you sat on the couch, you had the perfect vantage point to see him walk out of your bathroom. He was sporting a wet head of hair, and clothed in a pair of sweats he had pulled from the drawer of clothes he kept at your place. He also had a fresh bruise under his left eye and scratches across his cheek.</p><p>He made his way into your living room and took the seat next to you. With a sigh, he settled his head in your lap. "I dunno. I wanna get out but…"</p><p>You ran gentle fingers through his hair. "But?"</p><p>"I feel like I need to make up for it. For what I did when I was him."</p><p>"That wasn't you though Bucky."</p><p>"No, I know."</p><p>"Do you really?"</p><p>"Yeah. It's just, it feels like it's my responsibility anyway."</p><p>You paused to scratch at his scalp and enjoyed the way he leaned into the touch. "I know you feel that way. But you know that's no way to live your life. Duty and responsibility are both good, but only if they're not making you miserable."</p><p>Bucky chuckled. "I do feel pretty miserable right now."</p><p>You looked him over, pausing at each of his injuries. "I can imagine."</p><p>Bucky let his eyes fall shut, and was silent for a long while. You almost thought he'd fallen asleep until he spoke. "You know sometimes I wish I could just stay here with you."</p><p>"You do?"</p><p>"Yeah. Just being with you. All the time. It'd be a pretty great place to end up, if you ask me."</p><p>You smiled. "You wouldn't be so bad to end up with yourself."</p><p>Bucky cracked open an eye and smirked. "You think?"</p><p>You pushed a piece of hair off his forehead as you murmured, "Yeah, I do."</p><p>Bucky shut his eyes again, and this time he really did fall asleep. Once Bucky had taken some time to rest, he went on his way again, just like always. You mostly didn't mind it. You knew Bucky had his reasons for keeping his distance from you, and most of them involved keeping you safe. Even though you really liked him, you never would have pressured him for more.</p><p>It had been a few weeks since you had heard from Bucky when you were woken up one night by knocking on your front door. When you heard the noise, you knew exactly who it was. You pulled it open to see Bucky standing on your porch, bouncing on the balls of his feet.</p><p>You pulled your door open wider and let Bucky walk past you. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he blurted out, "I'm done. I'm out."</p><p>"You're...what?"</p><p>"I left doll. No more missions, no more fighting. I'm done."</p><p>You grinned. "Really? And you're happy about it?"</p><p>He nodded. "I am, yeah. I'm excited."</p><p>"Good. I'm glad Bucky."</p><p>He softly placed his hands on your shoulders. "Doll I wanted you to know because I know how I want to spend this new time. I want to spend it with you. I wanna live a life with you."</p><p>"Bucky…"</p><p>"You know the only thing that's kept us apart all this time is worry. Always worrying about something happening to you or to me, but we don't have to now. All that is over with."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"And you know that I would've been here with you if I'd thought it was safe."</p><p>"Yes." You sighed. "I just want you to be sure Bucky. I don't want you to wake up one day and resent me for this. If you want to keep going on missions, you should. I'll still be here."</p><p>Bucky chuckled. "I don't want to go on missions doll."</p><p>"You don't?"</p><p>"No. I don't. You know what I wanna do?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Bucky inched ever so slowly closer to you until he was pressing his lips to yours. He kissed you until you thought your knees would give out, and he pulled away much too quickly. "That. You've got no idea how long I've wanted to do that."</p><p>You smiled. "I think I have some idea."</p><p>"You feel better about this now?"</p><p>"Yeah, I do."</p><p>Bucky grinned. "Good."</p><p>In the middle of the night, you woke to an empty bed. Getting up, you went looking for Bucky. You found him in your bathroom, razor in his hand, with tufts of hair scattered around his feet.</p><p>You spoke softly, trying not to jar him. "Bucky? You okay?"</p><p>His eyes whipped up to meet your own. "Oh. Hi doll. Yeah, m'fine."</p><p>"What're you up to in here?"</p><p>"I wanted to look like myself again." He ran a hand through the newly cut strands. "This is my fresh start. It's our fresh start. I don't want to feel like my past is still waiting around the next corner." </p><p>"That makes sense. If it's going to make you happy, baby, I'm all for it."</p><p>He chuckled. "Too bad I'm not very good at cutting hair, huh?"</p><p>You shrugged. "Hey, I think you did a pretty good job. The back is great. And I can work on the front, if you want."</p><p>"Yeah? You'd do that?"</p><p>"Of course I would."</p><p>You searched out your scissors and got to work on Bucky's hair. You were by no means an expert, but you thought you had done a good job. You still braced yourself for a bad reaction when Bucky finally looked at what you had done.</p><p>A smile slowly formed on Bucky's face as he said, "Thanks doll. I love it."</p><p>Only when you saw that Bucky was happy did you let a smile spread across your face. "Yeah?" </p><p>"Yeah. And I love you. So much."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Bucky took your face in his hands and pressed a kiss to your lips. "I'm gonna shower and then I'll come back to bed." </p><p>A short while after you had crawled back into bed, you felt it dip beside you and an arm wrap around your middle. He pressed a kiss to your temple as he said, "I don't know what I'd have ever done without you in my life." You fell asleep that night with your fingers intertwined with Bucky's and a smile on your face, looking forward to the future the two of you would share.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi! thank y'all for reading! if you liked it you can follow me on tumblr @blackberrybucky</p></blockquote></div></div>
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